Every child would have seen their parents fighting and I am one among them. If we try to find the root cause for everything, then it will mainly be related to one or more of the following – financial needs, possessiveness, incapacity, feeling helpless and low confidence.
My parents had fight over everything… My mom never liked my dad speaking with any ladies. I and my siblings used to cry whenever they have a fight because of this reason. They learned to control the budget but they never learned how to control their words in front of their children. It hurt us to see them fighting, every time. The only way that they compromised is by my mom doing satya graha for 2 days or so. As the days went on, it became casual for us. We know that they will get back together, no matter how big the fight was..
Now if you ask me, how my childhood days were? All I can remember is their fight and very little happy moments. Sometimes the happy moments will have a small fight. I even remember one fight which happened in the midnight (day of my b’day) when I was 6 years old. It hurts me even now.
My parents taught us one thing from their fights- Never fight before a child. I wouldn’t say, never fight at all because it means that you are having misunderstandings. Fight does make us understand about our partner but fighting in front of our children is the worst thing that you can ever do. Create more happy memories for them. One day, they should be able to tell their spouse that they had a very happy childhood.
I have told many stories to my husband about the happy moments that happened in my school, college or in office but never with my family together. I had to search my brain for atleast 30 seconds to get something like that.
If you have something to fight about, it is ok to let the children know that you are fighting by having it inside your room. But make sure that they also know the reason for your fight and how you are handling it. Because when they grow up, they should know how to handle fights too. They cannot just go and hide in the bedroom and cry for the whole day.
I and my husband always had fight over silly things but it never went more than half a day. It takes a lot of effort to kill your ego and talk, and that is what helped us so far. We are trying to build lots of happy memories for Lily and we hope that our bond will get stronger in the course of our journey.
Still, I am proud about my parents because they stayed together through all these fights even when we had lost hope. They still fight over silly things but we just joke about it now.