Shining Brighter Than Ever

Archive for February, 2014




Married Life – Adjustment

Accept it – No person in the world is perfect. It holds true when ‘you’ select your partner. And even more true when ‘your parents’ select your partner for you. And arranged marriage is more common in India than love marriage. Mine is arranged marriage.

I and my husband came to know each other pretty good during the gap between the engagement and marriage. I prepared myself to adjust to make a happy journey.

I and my dear hubby made sure that we understand each other before having a child. So we went for one year planning. Life was awesome as a newly married couple. At times we used to argue but I go quite because I was still afraid of him a little about his temperament. I never saw him losing his temper. So I used to think that his real temper would be more bad and avoided it at all cost.  But some of his habits really piqued me like throwing the crushed paper towels in the living room, not hanging his clothes in the wardrobe, mails everywhere, dirty clothes still hanging in the bathroom handle bar and so many. I would tell once but he never cleaned. I started to go around the house to clean after he leaves for the office. And that’s how I got adjusted to him. But is it adjustment? No, I just ignored my feelings and I was mad at him. But the understanding each other part went good.  He could easily read it from my face that I am angry or thinking seriously or upset.

So when Lily came into picture, I managed everything pretty well except his habits. I started arguing with him that he should start doing all those things by himself. I even cried that I don’t get much help from him whenever I was so stressed. After sometime I stopped cleaning for a day or two and then he started doing it by himself at least to some level. So that is when I came to know that I was just ignoring everything in order to avoid arguments which was so stressful when it went beyond my handling capacity. We still come across issues- if I/he couldn’t adjust then we talk about it. No more ignoring things!!!!